some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize