watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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