I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
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he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
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my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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