after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
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I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
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and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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