If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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