the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
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he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
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there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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