Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize