I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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