she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
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