I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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