I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize