I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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