Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize