I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize