how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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