He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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