I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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