Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like eating out sand paper
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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