Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize