He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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