Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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