my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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