You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
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