is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
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You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
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Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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