I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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