I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize