Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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