just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
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its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
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All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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