do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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