Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
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new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
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Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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