:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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