And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize