zippers are such a cool invention
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
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This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
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nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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