The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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