I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize