I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize