omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
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I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
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I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
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