what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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