smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Betty ford says i'm here all night
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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