I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
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its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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