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You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
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