so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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