Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
How external is "for external use only"?
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize