i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize