If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize