i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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