It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
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i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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