I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
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getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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