Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize