New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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